


Forgive Me Father

by heckalecki



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - High School, Bad Boy Dean, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nerd Castiel, Self Harm, Smut, Supernatural - Freeform, Transgender, abusive!John, deaf!gabriel, dyslexic!Dean, learningdisability!Dean, lisp!Sam, mute!lucifer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-11-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 18:25:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3619788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heckalecki/pseuds/heckalecki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Highschool au<br/>Castiel struggles with his gender whilst Dean struggles with the law. idk i'm bad at summaries</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Boy in the Dress

Castiel was uneasy, he shifted in his seat and tried to steady his breathing, come on, he thought, you know this, Castiel. He made an audible noise of relief when everything he'd learnt about calculus started flooding back to him. After half an hour he left the exam room, girls gathered in clusters to discuss the new kid, Winchester something. Castiel rolled his eyes and headed to his locker, the word “fag" had been etched into it again, geez, imaginative. Castiel sighed to himself and pulled out his English books.   
He rushed through the corridors and past groups of boys taunting him, he pulled nervously at the hem of his skirt as he waited to be let into his class, he was the only outed gay in the school, in Kansas that was enough to get both your legs broke but wearing a dress, some would say Castiel was asking to get his head smashed in. He didn't want to be a girl, he just wanted to dress how he liked, and he liked dresses, simple as. A short boy sneered at him, "tranny." He muttered to Castiel as he pushed into the classroom. The teacher smiled when he saw Castiel, Mr Webbs, the only teacher that he liked.   
Castiel settled down before being pulled out half way through, not again, he thought. He was taken to the office and made to sit down,   
"Castiel you know why you're here, you're a smart boy." Mr Allister started, Castiel just nodded and stared at his lap.   
"You know we can't let you wear that, Castiel." He sighed, Castiel nodded and took a shaky breath in as he left to get him a change of clothes. A boy was sat across the room to the left, he was beat up pretty bad, split lip, black eye. He looked up at Castiel's stare,   
"You should see the other guy." He said with a lope sided grin. Castiel blushed red and looked anywhere but the boy. Mr Allister soon returned with some dismal jogging bottoms and a "sloppy joe's" sweater. Castiel tried not to look too disappointed as he stared at the pitiful arrangement,   
"You can change in the toilet." He said coldly.   
"T-the doors don't lock, sir...” He mumbled feeling embarrassed. Mr Allister raised an eyebrow in a half frown and said,   
"So? You won't be stark naked, why do you care if anyone sees you in your boxers? Oh don't tell me you're wearing woman's underwear too...” He sighed sounding thoroughly done. Castiel couldn't be more humiliated, he tried to shake his head but the sound of his blood pumping through his head was enough to stop him. The beaten up boy had been listening to every word that was said,   
"Give him break." He said with a sharpness to his voice. Castiel was now struggling to breath, "Who is he bothering so much by dressing like that, huh?" He continued, the sharp tone getting more evident.   
"He's a boy, it's not in our dress code, thank god, for boys to wear dresses, stay out of it Winchester, you're in enough trouble as it is." Mr Allister said. Winchester, Castiel thought, the new boy. Mr Allister turned back to Castiel, "Look, Novak, change or go home." Castiel stood up and grabbed his satchel before walking out of the building. He couldn't go home, not whilst dressed like this, he sat on the field by the crashed Volvo that had become a local monument of sorts and went into his bag to take out his copy of Macbeth. Shit. He thought, having left it in the principal’s office. Just when he thought things couldn't get worse, it started to rain. Castiel sat on the damp ground with his back up against a tree as he watched the blue dress he wore get drenched. He stared down at his lap and wondered where the sun had gone before realising there was someone standing over him.   
"You left this." A confident voice said as a copy of "Macbeth" was dropped onto his lap, "Castiel Novak, right? I'm Dean Winchester."

 

Castiel looked up and blushes deeply "T-t-t-thanks." He mumbled and pulled his dress over his knees, trying to hide from the boy that he'd heard was a sociopath. The boy wouldn't leave. He dropped his torn up backpack next to Cas before sitting down beside him. It was silent. Both the teens stared out across the vast but ruined grass landscape. The beaten up rusted Volvo was situated in front of them, half the car's frame had been stolen and sold and what remained was trash. Dean picked up a small rock and chucked it at the car, it hit the door and dropped to the wet grass underneath it. Castiel watched, fascinated by the boy as he continued to throw more rocks and debris at the car.

"So..." The Winchester boy started, "That Allister dude is a dick.” He said, trying to start conversation but Castiel couldn't. He had never been good at conversation, growing up in a family with one deaf brother and a mute sister meant there was never much need to make conversation. Dean sighed and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it before taking a long drag, Castiel hadn't taken his eyes off the Volvo and looked up when a large smoke ring was blown next to him. Cas blushed and giggled a little at the rings he blew with the smoke. Dean looked up with a lope sided grin on his face and a charismatic sparkle in his eyes. Cas blushed even deeper scarlet before tugging his cardigan over his hands, he made a huffing noise and stood up quickly, he put his bag over his shoulder and looked down at his muddy DMs before crossing his arms over his chest and walking away. 

Dean raised an eyebrow and called out, getting up and grabbing his backpack before going after him and catching up. "What's wrong with you?" he said with a chuckle as Cas just stormed across the field, "You angry at me or something?" he asked but the boy wouldn't answer, he followed him up the road before giving up and sighing, turning away and going home, Dean chuckled at the teenage boys ministrations. Castiel went around the back of the small house he lived in and to the dingy bathroom window, manoeuvring his small body inside and locking the door before taking off his dress and underwear and wrapping a towel around himself as he headed to his room. The house was silent, his father wasn't home much. Cas pulled on some jeans and a top with a picture of a bee on it. He sat next to his brother on the sofa and watched the muted TV.

Gabriel was two years older than Castiel and had been deaf from birth. They were close, Gabriel was always teasing Cas. He wasn't too mean as Castiel was more than naive but Gabe pulled his fair share of pranks on the younger boy. Their younger sister Luci sat across from them listening to music and staring up at the ceiling, she didn't like living at home and had been running away since she was ten however their dad always managed to get her to come home. Castiel stood and sighed before running up to his room and slamming the door as loudly as he wanted, he sat at his window and opened it up wide, watching as it started to rain and the bees left. Why did the bees always have to leave, Cas thought. 

He lay on his bed and thought about the boy he'd met that day. That mysterious Winchester boy with the lopsided grin. He thought of the curve of his jaw and his impossibly green eyes, the way his freckles littered his face. Cas turned off the lights and relaxed, his lips twisted up at the sides in a smile as he remembered how Dead looked when he was slumped in that chair after being beat up, Cas blushed into the darkness as he slipped a hand under his jeans and boxers, he breathed heavily through his mouth and closed his eyes as he started to gently stroke himself, he moaned a little and his pace increased as he thought of the smoke pouring out of his mouth in a ring, Cas groaned and tugged slightly harder at himself, throwing his head back before Gabe burst in unannounced, Castiel was so red he thought he might be sick as Gabe started to laugh so hard that he cried. Cas rushed to cover himself and blushed as he hit his climax out of fear and shock. He put his head in his hands and took a shaky breath in. Gabe sighed, he couldn't tease Cas that much, he knew how...sensitive Castiel was. He came over and gently patted Cas' back before leaving the room. Castiel turned on his side and squeezed my eyes shut before falling asleep thinking about the boy with the green eyes.


	2. I've got you, Sammy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hEEEY ! sorry it's been hella long but i've been having a tough time recently with health but i'm back! anyway hope you like this chapter, TW: ABUSIVE JOHN   
> \-----------  
> I know this isn't very long sorry. Also this isn't wincest just protective Dean >.

Dean swung the door closed with a harsh bang and practically threw his bag against the floor, "Piece of shit school," He grumbled, "don't know anything." He punched the wall of the dingy apartment hard and growled.His twelve year old brother sat watching from the sofa, flinching every time Dean hit the wall,  only when Dean's hand started to look bloody did the younger boy shoot up and shout,

"Dean! Stop it!" He had a small lisp and floppy brown hair, he managed to look small and younger than he was, even though he was lanky and tall. Dean looked up with sympathetic, calming eyes,

"Sorry, Sammy..." He knew how much it scared his little brother when he did this but he couldn't help it, "This school's just as bad as the last one, Sammy." He mumbled, his rebellious persona gone when he talked to his brother. "They th-know i'm stupid." He said in a quiet voice. Sam's eyes looked sad and he sighed, 

"You're not stupid, Dean. You're dyslexic." He sounded like this sentence was something said a lot, he sounded wiser and far more tired then any twelve year old should. "What happened to your face?" He asked in reference to the split lip and black eye. Dean's jaw tightened,

"Nothing." He wasn't going to tell Sam about the boy in his year that had done a distasteful impression of his lisp, _that dick deserved it_. Dean checked the time, _shit_ , He'd spent a lot of time with the kid on the field. "You hungry, Sammy?" He asked. Sam nodded and carried on with his homework. _What a surprise, Dad isn't in_. Dean pulled open the baron cupboards and saw a box of macaroni cheese at the back, he dusted it off and sighed, starting to prepare this 'dinner for one' and make it into a 'dinner for two'. He served Sammy up a large proportion and himself a much smaller proportion. "Here we go." He said and handed Sammy his food, ruffling his hair and eating his hungrily. When they were finished he dumped the bowls in the sink. "I'm heading to bed." He mumbled, "Night, Sammy."

"Night, Dean." The younger boy said and smiled up at him, making Dean's eyes soften, only the way Sam could. Dean crawled into bed and was woken by the door slamming at 2 am. _Welcome home, Dad_. He sighed and kicked out restlessly. There was more banging and a lot more cursing before his father burst into his room and shook him awake.

"Where the hell have you put my gun?" He slurred, spitting at Dean. Dean tried to toughen up, he clenched his jaw and lifted his head.

"I-i haven't touched it, sir." He said as clearly as he could.

"Then why isn't it in my closet?" He all but growled. _Fuck_. Sam had always had nightmares and had a tendency for slipping the gun under his bed when he was scared. John stomped across the room to Sam's bed where the twelve year old was cowering under his cover, John was tearing apart the room and finally looked under the beds, spotting it under Sam's. "You better be ready for a beating, boy." He growled at Sam. The twelve year old had wet the bed in fear and was shaking viciously. 

"I put it there." Dean said quickly. "I knew it would piss you off." John quickly turned and his face contorted with anger.

"What?" He growled and pushed Dean against the wall, Dean tried not to struggle as his father made him bend over the bed and took off his belt, striking Dean's back fifteen times and when he was finished, punching him across the face, causing his already beat up face to be even bloodier, his lip now split in two places and he had a red cheek. John grabbed his gun and they waited for the sound of the Impala leaving before Sam shakily crawled into Dean's bed. 

"You didn't have to do that, Dean." He mumbled in a tiny voice.

"Yes I did, Sammy." He said and sighed when he realized Sam had wet himself. "Go change and you can sleep in my bed, I'll change the sheets tomorrow." He waited for Sammy to return and when he did he pulled the boy into a protective embrace. "I've got you, Sammy. I;ve got you."

 


	3. Don't Speak

Castiel looked in the mirror and used all the strength he had to not burst into tears right there and then. He turned to the side and sucked in his stomach, his chest was flat. He squeezed the flab on his thighs and let out an audible sigh. He slipped his panties up his slender legs and frowned at the way his genitals appeared in them. He pulled on a baggy jumper and a pair of skinny girl jeans. He brushed his hair to the side, it was finally starting to grow. He tied on his Doc Martins and brushed on some blush and some mascara before heading downstairs. His heart practically dropped when he saw his father sat at the kitchen table.   
His dad looked him dead in the eye “You’re going to hell, Castiel.” Castiel practically ran out of the door, mascara smudged against his cheeks as he did and kept his head down in shame as he arrived at school. He sat in his English class and didn’t look up as someone sat next to him, he heard a chuckle and his head snapped up to meet bright green eyes. It was Dean Winchester, the boy who followed him in the rain. Great, now he’s laughing at you, Castiel thought. Dean gently pressed a tissue into his hand. “Your pretty make up smudged.”  
Castiel thought he was being sarcastic but he noticed there was no hint of insincerity in his voice, only fondness and concerned. Castiel sniffed and tried to push the tissue away but this only made Dean gently dab at his cheeks and soak up the tears. “There we go, perfect.” He said clearly with no apprehension or embarrassment.  
“You should stay away from me. They’ll start calling you a fag too...” Castiel mumbled bitterly. Dean snorted and muttered,  
“Let them.”   
“What happened to your face?” Castiel mumbled quietly. Dean had a split lip and a black eye, his cheek looked red too, but these marks were different to the other ones from the fight the day before. Dean blushed and it was the first time Castiel had seen him do it.   
“Uh I got in another fight…” Dean said and Castiel recognized it as a lie, letting it slip and sighing before turning back to the board just as a piece of paper hit his head, he un-balled it and turned scarlet at the message inside.   
“IS HE YOUR BOYFRIEND CASSIE?” it read in big handwriting. There were snickers behind them and before Castiel could snatch it away Dean had it in his hand, he turned around and walked straight over to Crowley sniggering in the corner.   
“You got a problem bud?” Dean spat angrily. Crowley flinched mockingly.  
“Don’t spit on me, Fag, I don’t want to get AIDs.” The English boy sneered, Dean pounced like a wild animal, he pinned the shorter boy to the back wall as the classroom fell silent. Dean could hear Castiel telling him to stop but he couldn’t, he barely knew the boy yet he was willing to put his whole reputation on the line for him.  
“So what if I am gay, huh?” He said, there were a few gasps around the classroom and by now the teacher was begging Dean to stop. “So what if I am a fag?” He screamed. Pure emotion and repressed feelings poured out of Him. He had even forgotten why he had the wide eye boy pinned as he slumped and let Crowley fall to the ground, Dean dropped his arms and his head hung down. I’m Gay. He thought. He went very silent as there were mumbles around the room and people tried not to stare. Dean was pulled out of his thoughts as his teacher led him from the room, having him sit down in his office and closing the door. Dean braced himself for the worst, convinced he’d be expelled. Instead, his teacher gently pushed a box of tissues to him.   
“You can call me Garth.” He said calmly and studied Dean sympathetically. “Now Dean, I’m sure you expect me to beat your ass for what just happened out there but I don’t want to hurt you, not when I can see how much you’re hurting already.” With what on any other day would just sound like an empty pitiful affirmation, the unbreakable Dean Winchester lowered his head and started to cry.


	4. Fall Never Felt So Warm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! Hope to start updating regularly and at least (!!) once a week.

Castiel stared at his shoes like they were the most important things in the world when Dean left the room, people were whispering and gossiping, Crowley was trying to act cool even though Castiel could see he was scared-shitless. Castiel picked up his bag and headed out, he trudged through the fall mud until he found the old Volvo and sat down opposite the rusted beast. He waited for Dean not that he expected him to come, an hour later he all but gave up and stood up, starting to walk out when he felt a tap on his back, he turned and staring into his bright blue eyes were equally bright green ones.   
Castiel let out a shaky breath as Dean slowly and unsurely linked his arms around his waist, pulling him in as if he’d never kissed before, Castiel didn’t close his eyes, he let his chest be pushed against the taller boys and tilted his head slightly to the right, Dean mirrored him and moved his to the right too, their lips met slowly and something inside of Castiel felt complete. They didn’t move for a while, standing ankle deep in mud, lips joined and chests flat against each other. They didn’t pull apart until Castiel felt a drop of rain on his forehead; he pulled away and looked up to the sky. He sighed as the heavens opened up but Dean just chuckled and stretched his arms out wide, spinning around in the rare downpour, he splashed around in the puddles until he fell flat on his bottom and Castiel couldn’t quite stifle his laugh. This guy was crazy, but Cas liked it. Castiel started to spin too, offering to help Dean up only led to his outstretched hand being pulled down and him ending up coated in mud as well. Both boys let out large laughs and Castiel smiled, for the first time in a while, he smiled. Dean grinned that lopsided grin of his and moved so he was hovering above Castiel on the ground. He beamed down at him and kissed him again, all nerves gone as the boys lips joined in a passionate kiss. Cas pulled back and looked down at the both of them before letting out a laugh so lung emptying he was left coughing with tears rolling down his cheeks. Dean howled with laughter in response and finally stood up, helping Castiel stand too.  
Dean held Castiel’s bag for him and even though Dean would never admit it he was a real gentleman. When they reached Castiel’s door Dean looked at him in amazement.   
“Dude your house is huge…” He said dreamily. Castiel chuckled. He lived in a four bed semi. When he was younger his dad used to make a lot of money writing.   
“Hardly, it’s pretty average to be honest, maybe even a little small for this side of town…” He shrugged. Dean turned to him and smiled softly, handing him his bag.   
“It was fun rolling around in the mud with you.” Dean smirked and winked. Castiel rolled his eyes but couldn’t hide the grin on his face.  
“Yeah thanks, asshole.” He shot back playfully. “Um...” Castiel reached in his bag for a piece of paper and quickly scrawled out his number. “If you want to like…text me, I don’t know…” He blushed and Dean thought it was the most adorable thing ever. But now it was Dean’s turn to blush. It was 2015, dammit, what teenager didn’t own a phone?   
“I uh…I’d love to Cas, honestly, It’s just I don’t have a phone…” Dean looked unusually embarrassed and rubbed the back of his neck. Cas’ brow knitted together.   
“Oh…” He mumbled, God were Dean’s family really that poor? “Not to worry, have you got a house phone?” He said trying to make Dean feel less embarrassed. Dean nodded and smiled.   
“Yeah,” He quickly wrote down the number. “If my dad answers just say it’s a friend from school…” He emphasised the word friend and Castiel nodded quickly.  
“I’ll call you.” He said shyly and turned his key in the door. “Bye Dean.” He blushed. Dean leaned up and pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek before turning and heading home, his whole day seemed to be getting a little better.  
Once Castiel closed the door he was met with Luci and Gabe’s smirks. He rolled his eyes and let out a deep breath. “What?” He snapped.  
‘Who was that?’ they both signed at him and Castiel blushed. He tried to push past them but couldn’t. Gabe smirked at him.  
‘Luci told me what you two were saying.’ Castiel glared at his little sister who had a smug look on her face.   
“My friend.” He said carefully so Gabriel could read his lips. He managed to get the both of them but not before he saw Gabe sign,  
‘Geez, couldn’t you two at least find a bed? You’re covered in mud.’ Which was met with a failed to be hidden giggle from Luci. Castiel sighed and locked the bathroom door but he couldn’t stop the grin on his face as he stripped out of his dirty clothes. Hell, he was still grinning like a mad man in the shower. He didn’t even wipe the smile off his face as he changed into his pjs. He waltzed into the kitchen practically beaming, until he saw his father, until he saw the bags.


End file.
